It has happened! I have finally hit rock bottom, and there is no where left to go. I don't see a way up and out of my situation and I am afraid there is NO help out there for me.
I always thought I was a smart individual, capable of handling anything that presented itself to me. I guess I was wrong, SO WRONG. I look at my current situation and I feel like such a failure. I have no job, no money, I am about to lose my home. There is nothing I can do about it. I have no one to turn to for help. I mean I can try state assistance but I doubt they would be able to help me. I can't ask either of my parents for assistance, neither of them are able to help. I don't even have friends who I can turn to. I am just DOOMED.
The worse part about this isn't the fact that I am going to be homeless. I can get over that bit of trauma, or at least I hope I can. It's the fact that I tried to better myself, to become something MORE. Yet despite my efforts I am going down like the Titanic. I mean I was making awesome grades in college A's in all my math classes, only a couple B's. I mean I was doing really good. After looking at my school transcripts, I can tell you, I didn't make the best grades in high school. I mean I had a C average. I thought I did better than that. And now to end up at this point. It hurts deeper than anything I have ever felt.
Bobby isn't really taking the situation well. My main priority right now should be to me, but we have been friends and roomies for 5 years, I can't help but worry a little. Then there is Dylan. Poor thing just got to Austin.
The option I might have look even more bleak than homelessness.
1. I could move back to Mississippi and live with my Mom. Yeah that's a great scenario. She lives outside the Forest City limits. It takes 10-15 minutes by car just to get to a gas. There is NO public transit system, and I have no car and no drivers license. I would have to totally rely on her for all my transportation needs. She wouldn't want to do that again. Especially if I got a job working inconvenient hours. So the option really isn't an option.
2. I can try to see if Dad and Robin would take me in. Only thing is they JUST bought a house and getting there would be extremely hard. Plus I have no clue what the economical climate is in Ohio, I could be going into a worse job market. I don't even know if there is a public transit system available or not. I would be totally reliant on them for transportation, if they could spare it.
I have tried asking April and Eric if I could move in, but that situation would be totally ill advised, and we all know it. My only option is just to give up on everything and let things unfold. There are dozens of unknowns out there. I could be fine and find a job tomorrow. I could just end up homeless walking the streets for the rest of my life. I could be killed the first week out there homeless. I could snap and go crazy and try and kill myself. Those are all variables. Right now I just don't know what to do.
