The Abyss and the Angel (Part 2)

Paul ran as fast as his feet could take him. He had no clue what direction he was headed, and he didn't care. That scene was absolutely the strangest singular experience he had ever faced. The idea of an "Angel." It was beyond his comprehension. Not to mention the audacity of such a being appearing now.
Tree branches, thistles, and briars scratched at him as he made his way through the dark. He didn't actually know how fast he was going, but he tried to increase his speed with every step. He could smell the metallic twinge coming from what he guessed were small gashes along his face. He didn't care. He knew he had to get away. Just run, run to where ever he ended up running too. If it was daytime, he would of seen the edge, but over  he fell. Down, farther and father, till a burning splash into a local lake. As soon as he came up for air he knew where he was. The "Drop." A local spot for the youth of his uncomfortable little town. He had come many times but never stepped foot into the water. The water was cool against his body. All that running had taken more out of him than he thought. He floated there panting, totally out of breath but happy to just be away. And far away at that.
He looked up and the stars twinkled like diamond glitter glued to a black velvet sky. The ebb and flow of the water swept him up and down in a calming rhythmic manner. I was the most at peace he had felt in quite a while. Thinking back to what got him running and in this situation, he realized it must of been all in his head. A minor moment of temporary insanity. The very thought of an angel coming to him made him laugh. And there he floated, laughing at the sky, the trees, the very world around him. But what he heard and seen next caused his blood to run so cold, the cool water felt as if it were boiling in comparison.
"Oh you poor little laughing fool...Did you really think you could outrun something like me"
The calm ripple of the water turned to splashed as again Paul was running for his life. Except in this case he was swimming, quite badly at that fact. So bad in fact that he swam right in front of his "Angel." Who was now standing above him at the deepest part of the lake.
"How in the fucking hell...." that's about the extent of what Paul could huff out at Alex.
Alex chuckled a little. "How the hell what?"
"How the hell are you doing that?"
"Oh, walking on water. An old friend taught me this quite a while ago. I think its spiffy, don't you."
"Really...here you are, standing on water. Being one of the bat shit craziest thing I have ever seen, and you say 'SPIFFY"
"I happen to like spiffy thank you very much. What the hell is wrong with spiffy, its a good word."
"It has to be one of the lamest words in the English language."
"Oh and drolly oozing out a unemotional "cool" or a surf-tastic "awesome" is any better."
There Paul floated and there Alex stood. One in the water and one on the water. The most bizarre spectacle ever witnessed by modern man, and no one was there to see it.

Things that I have lost.....

Over the past few months I have lost a lot of things. Some of them superficial and materialistic, and some more substantial. While the substantial items/things are more important, this blog is going to be about the superficial and materialistic. I know, I know...in my current state I need to be focused more than ever on obtaining stability, but I am human damn it. And as I human I crave and want things. All humans crave and want things, its generally the reason for some if not most of the worlds problems. But wanting is not the why, just the foundation. But I will NOT get all guru on everyone.

The things I miss the most (substantial and materialistic things), are my games and systems, my PS2 and my Nintendo DSi XL. Here is why...I owned my most favorite game EVER...well its a game series..

Kingdom Heart I and II. I friggin LOVE those games. Sora and the Disney characters, its so much fun. And also my Final Fantasy X and X2. I love the story line and the graphics. Its a beautiful game. And those games are on the PS2...
And secondly is my DSi XL. I felt so good buy it NEW. I hardly ever have the ability to buy something pretty and NEW. And I loved my favorite game, POKEMON. Yes yes its a kids game but it is fun to play so get over it.

And I do realize that these things are not needed in life. I am not bogged down by too many superficial things. I try to focus my energies on creating and getting needed things...Home, food, clothes, blah blah blah. But this blog is about superficiality. So again GET OVER IT.

I am aloud to be a little materialistic. My life has SUCKED for so long and I think, and this is gonna sound bad, but I have earned a few frillies here and there. I am not talking about the ability to buy everything and anything I want anytime I want. Just a few things I can call my own.

So, if you ever wondered, "Hmmm, what can I get Eric for ...<add whatever holiday here>?" This is what I would want. A Nintendo 3DS with Pokemon Black or White, you choose cause you will be getting it for me. A Wii game console with the game Zelda: Skyward Sword. OR a PS3 with a good RPG game, no shooter, no sports game, and no racing/car game.

That is all...I am ending it here. May you be blessed with enough......



Oh and PS: Yes I do realize that this is kind of like a GIMME GIMME GIMME rant, but I am okay with that.

The Homosexual Menace...

Okay I admit the title of this blog is a bit misleading. That is of course because I myself am a homosexual, and NO I am not a menace in any way shape or form. However I do have a point t make about homosexuality. Now if my scattered brain can only put that thought into a concise paragraph, I could live my life happily...hence the menacing part. But I will attempt to paint a clear picture for all to see.

There are many debates out there surrounding the HOMOSEXUAL, gays and lesbians specifically (I will not even try to get into bisexuals, I don't think I have the time or patience for it). There are some that think that there is a "Homo-gene." A strand or combination of the genetic code that make someone a homosexual. Then there are those who see homosexuality as a form of mental disease. A debilitating affliction that hinders a person from being able to make rational conscientious decisions. Just ask the US government. Then there are those who believe that its the devil and his nefarious plot to trap men and women into his web of hellish lies...OOOOO. Then there are those (like me) who have no clue what it is, or where it comes from. But even though I don't know the exact reason, I do have an idea...so bare with me as I unfurl my inner minds most complex workings. Well not MOST complex.

There is a fundamental truth that connects all creatures to one another. This singular drive is the link that binds us to the whales, ants, bees, dogs, cats, etc etc....That drive, that truth, that need...is the need to procreate (make babies). All creatures have a natural urge and yearning to "get it on." Especially we humans. Its on our minds more than any other thought. When we  brush our teeth, we are thinking about sex. When we eat we are thinking about sex. When we sleep we are thinking about sex. And even when we are having sex, we are thinking about sex. And thats where the problem lies. For humans sex is no longer about simple procreation. Because of our society, our history, and even our very nature, sex has become about more a connection and about pleasure.

Unlike humans, most animals face a daunting task when it comes to mating. For most animals, finding a mate is hard enough, but they must also choose the best mate possible. A mate that will provide a healthy genetic code for the next generation. The offspring must be able to run fast, jump high, fly long distances, fight off rivals, smell prey or find food, fight off disease. Also be able to withstand drought, famine, over population under population: the list goes on and on. But for humans, the choice is merely finding someone attractive enough willing to participate.

For eons humans have been advancing more and more away from their natural roots. I am not talking coming from apes, or fish, or whatever. I am talking about the way we survive. If humans come across a deadly bacteria/virus, we create a medicine. If we need shelter from hot/cold/wet/dry, we build sky high fortresses. If we come across a dangerous animal, we shoot it, mount it, and display it on our walls. We can overcome disease famine poverty whatever comes our way. We can extend life in some cases with herbs, pills, whatever. Nature has tried to keep us in balance, but we keep fighting back. We keep thriving, and procreating, and expanding without boundaries. So, it is my belief that nature has devised a way to keep us in check. And that is where Homosexuality comes in.

What better way to thin the herd then to make it so some humans don't make babies. While at the same time making it so we still seek out the needed connections for social development. the whole point of homosexuality is NOT to procreate. A most brilliant plan by nature if I do say so myself. Because honestly, soon there won't be anywhere to put ourselves at the rate we are going. And there will be no resources to sustain ourselves either. That is just my idea of the subject at least. You may of may not agree with me. That is okay. You may see it another way. I am open to any and all thoughts...almost. Except the bible, but that is another subject I will not get into this evening thank you very much.

If you have a valid SCIENTIFIC thought, comment. Till then...May you be blessed with Enough...

YAY chicken

Well I have not really been keeping up with my blogging promise have I? Oh well....that's life isn't it.

I made chicken soup tonight. It was good with the NOM....

That is ALL.

Marriage...WTF?

Marriage is a social contract made between two people. It is a commitment to another person, or in some cases persons. Every culture has its own way of dictating how marriage is supposed to work. However, the actual history of marriage predates the written word itself. But in today's world, marriage is one of the biggest topics to bring up.  Many questions are asked, and new questions are being formulated each day. What constitutes Marriage? When do you marry and at what age is it okay? Do interracial marriages last? And so on and so forth...There are even debates on who should and should not be able to marry. The biggest controversy is the idea of gay or same-sex marriages.

As a gay man, I should be up in arms about the legalization of gay marriage. I should have my picketing sign or rainbow flag ready and able to fly whenever duty calls. Yet, I find myself at an odd loss for passion on the subject. I am not saying I am against the idea of gay marriage, but its not a necessity, at least for me. I find that I do not need a piece of paper or my government approval to love and commit myself to another person. I DO understand the debate though. The legalization of gay marriage will give same sex couples the same rights as mixed couples. Joint taxes, insurance benefits, hospital rights, right of attorney, inheritances...the list goes on and on. All those things are a right to have, especially hospital rights in those unforeseen bad times. But I find myself indifferent to most of them.

I guess its because I know a little bit about some of the history of marriage, and I do mean little, but at least its some. Marriage first started out as a union between two people (or more in some cultures). Most marriages were "Arranged Marriages". Meaning that the bride and grooms parents planned their unions. Sometimes even before the children were born. The idea of "LOVE" having ANY part of a marriage decision didn't happen till the Romantic Period, when the rise of art and literature took its most aesthetic hold.

AND, for those people out there who believe marriage is a union between JUST a man and JUST a woman, think again. The idea of gay marriage has been around almost as long as the idea of marriage itself. There are accounts throughout Greek, Roman, Chinese, Japanese, and European history where same sex couples were recognized and legal. Or as legal as legal could be in those times. So you can't use the "marriage is between a man and a woman" thing anymore. Historically speaking anyways.

And as for the legal debates about rights and if state or federal government should decide...I think like the founding father. It should and has to be a combination of BOTH state and federal government. Federal government should stink 100% by the Declaration of Independence of the USA Or at least the first part.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Which means that all peoples, well US citizens, should have the right to do what brings them happiness. Well, as long as that thing does not physically harm someone else.And state should do something too, I just don't know what quite yet. But I am sure there is something for them to do. 

The Abyss and the Angel

Paul stood above the creek looking down into the pitch. Up on that cliff the world seemed a hollow void. Nothing gave him comfort, nothing gave him happiness. The moisture trail on his face was still fresh from the tears that fell not but 20 minutes earlier. Thoughts of his parents filled his mind. Old happy times swirled like a maelstrom, teasing and tormenting him. Then the idea of going home to his overtaxed aunt and overbearing cousin pushed him into a screaming fit. He felt trapped in a life that no man deserved.
Paul wasn't always like this though. He once had a good life, the ordinary life of a modern teenager. He was never one of the goths, nor was he a jock. He did like baseball though. He never fit into the popular crowd, but wasn't a reject. He was just an ordinary young man. He had his crushes, and even his stash of magazines. Like I said, ordinary. Till the accident that changed his life. His family got off easy, it was quick for them. He was forced to endure comas, pain, broken bones and surgery. And the greatest crime, custody hearings to decide his fate. His fate that tied him to his new and unwanted family.
But standing there, his thoughts sped and sped till finally they blurred into a mesh of mental white noise. It was so loud. Too loud to take any longer, and as if controlled by outside forces he etched closer and closer to the edge of that cliff. Knowing in his head that his heart was too broken to fix. He planned to end it all. To jump and fade into the black of death. No longer a burden to his family, or himself. That was the only thing left.
"I would not do that if I were you."
The voice came from nowhere, but for some reason it wasn't enough to scare Paul. It was kind of warm. Paul turned to face the voice and saw a blur step from the shadows of the trees. He was dressed in jeans a tee shirt and a jacket. He was as normal as any other person in the midday rush. But he had a caring look. "Statistically speaking," he said. "A fall from this height wouldn't kill you, the painful internal bleeding would." He got as close as he could too the cliffs edge and looked over. "Whoa, nasty looking drop bubba, nasty." He turned his head and peered into Paul's eyes. For a brief moment there was silence. Then the man spoke again. "You got a lot of hurt in those eyes man. More than most men can handle, and more than most have the capacity to see." Paul was dumbfounded and speechless, yet he had a thousand million questions. He moved to speak but, "I know what you're thinking bubba. Who the hell is this nut and what gives him the right to interrupt my suicidal plans? You got a point, who am I anyways. But take a look down there." The stranger pointed down to the creek. There standing next to the creek was a ghastly looking man dressed in black, or was it a silhouette. It was like a man but not a man all at the same time, bright as day, yet blurry as twilight. "That there Paul, is DEATH, the Angel of death to be precise. Hi Max!" The man yelled out as he waved down to the shadowy figure.
Paul stepped back, freaked out by what the strange man just said. He looked down and he noticed that the figure had the angriest look on his face. Or at least it looked angry. Then Paul looked back at the man. "Oh, I am always pissing him off for some reason or another, but this reason is special. I have never pointed him out to a mortal before. Why do you look so freaked Paul. You were going to jump, so its only natural that death be there to take you. Well not till after the 5 hours of pain and swelling you'd endure first." The only word Paul could think of to say was "how?" The man took in a deep breath and leaned against a nearby tree. "Well, that's both easy and hard to explain. Its totally against the rules, what I am doing now. Revealing myself in this way. Talking to you, you seeing me. I'm supposed to exist in a plane of invisibility. Working in the background, doing only little things to sway you humans this way and that, as royally decreed that is... Paul, I'm an Angel. Your guardian angel to be exact, if you can believe that? Where are you going Paul." And Paul was off, running as fast as he could in who knows direction. "You are in SERIOUS trouble you know that Alex.?" Max said standing right beside him. "I know, but they've tried everything else."

.........TO BE CONTINUED